Less Than Ten Thousand

How much is too much to share with a partner? I try to be open and honest with all my partners, with all people in general. I try. Sometimes I can’t, and it’s not because I don’t want to but more so because it would be more harmful or hurtful to do so. Not just for them, for me as well.

He asks me how many people I’ve slept with. What do I say? Do I be completely honest, say I don’t know, or drastically low ball it because I know the true number is more than he can easily handle? Some times I will laugh and say enough to know what I’m doing. Or I may say more than ten but less than ten thousand. Of course, ten thousand is a ridiculously high number that I said to point out the ridiculousness of the question, but he will now think the number is close to ten. I didn’t lie to him, but I didn’t really answer the question either. I have honestly slept with more than ten and less than ten thousand.

Why does it matter how many sexual partners I’ve had anyway? Do you want me to do more? Less? Does it matter if I learned from one or ten, or a thousand? I honestly don’t think it does. 

Do you like the way I do the things? I learned them from previous partners, but I learned the way you like them from you. My previous experiences are where I explored and learned what I enjoy, what I want and what I cannot accept. They are where my shyness let way and I found my voice, where I fumbled more than not, where I found my confidence. You know, that confidence you find so attractive. I wasn’t born with it. 

Would you rather I say there was no one before you? Even when you know you aren’t the first? I’m not here to feed your ego. How many have you had? More than 10? Less than ten thousand? 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *