PAIN, pained, painstaking, panicked, parsimonious,
passionate, patient, peaceful, peculiar,
perplexed, persecuted, perturbed, preserving,
persistent, pessimistic, petrified, pitiful, pleasant,
pleased, poised, polished, practical, praising,
precarious, precise, prejudiced, preoccupied,
pressured, pretty, prim, prissy, progressive,
proper, proud, prudish, puzzled
Last year I posted P is for… (Pinched & Pulled) for the A to Z Challenge. Not explicitly about pain, but it was about pain. And in case you are new to my blog and were wondering what my thoughts were where pain is concerned you may want to read I needed to feel pain , Pain is a Feeling or P is for Pain . There are certainly more but these will give you a very good idea. So even though I’ve written about pain before there is nothing that says I can’t do it again.
We all have a relationship with pain. Some hate it, some love it, some love to hate it or hate to love it. How I feel about pain depends on the kind of pain, how it is inflicted, why it is inflicted, and my general well being at the time. Who is inflicting the pain also matters, but to less extent unless it is a punishment. When being punished there are a whole other set of feelings and emotions that go with the pain.
Let’s consider a masochist. They feel pain just like anyone else does but somewhere along the way the pain turns to, or results in, pleasure. I am a masochist to some extent. I love the feeling of hot wax being dripped or poured on me. I love the feeling of clamps being pinned to and removed from various parts of my body. I love the feel of the leather belt when it makes contact with my naked arse and the warmth that rises afterward. If you are going to suckle at my breast make sure you bite as well. That moment a cock penetrates my rear end, that is a pain I enjoy (hate?) like no other. One or all of these can send me over the edge resulting in a glorious orgasm, no penetration or clitoral stimulation required.
That doesn’t mean I enjoy or transform all kinds of pain to pleasure. Sometimes pain is just pain, hurt is just hurt. There can be a fine line and it is important to know where that line is or when you reach it. It is important that your Dom/Master/Sadist/Top/partner knows you well enough to be able to play within your limits while still being able to push them.
A sadist has a similar yet completely different relationship with pain. While a masochist gets off on feeling pain, a sadist gets off on inflicting it. There are some who simply enjoy inflicting pain on another person, but there are different degrees of sadism and different things that push a sadists buttons. A sadist may derive pleasure from any number of responses depending on the scene, the partner, and their general mood. Some like to hear your screams, your sobs, hear you begging and pleading for them to stop. Some like the mindfuck or to humiliate. Some like to see your tears or have you fight against them.
I asked a few sadist friends what it was that they derived their pleasure from and one answer struck me.
“The way her body reacts. How it betrays her. She says she hates the cane but after the initial yelp when I land a strike on her bare bottom her face flushes, her pussy gets wet and she lets out a moan of pleasure. Those involuntary spasms when I trace a blade across her skin or roll a spiked pinwheel down the back of her leg. It is the look in her eyes. Seeing her inner turmoil in them. Fear but not fear at the same time.”
There’s a reason S&M is a thing. They don’t just go together, they compliment and inspire each other.