AtoZ 2016: Kinky

Keen, kept, kicky, kind, kind-hearted, KINKY, knackered, knocked down,
knotted, knowing, knowledgeable, kooky

 

I was not going to write about kink or my kinky feelings specifically during the AtoZ Challenge but I couldn’t pass it up once the letter K arrived. Who wants to hear about how kind I am or how knackered and knocked down I feel? I hazard a guess to say the interest of my readers tends to fall more towards kink than either of those things.

Am I kinky? Yes. Do I feel kinky? Not always. We can’t feel the same thing, the same way, all the time. It’s impossible. We compartmentalize different aspects of our lives and act accordingly within them. Sure, we are still the same person all the time, we just choose to show different sides. For example, I do not feel or act the same way in a club full of beautifully naked people as I do at the office every day. I’m still the same person. I am still that outgoing introvert who always has a smile on her face, but unless I am tasked by my Dom to do something I don’t feel particularly kinky at work. I feel productive (if I’m lucky), knowledgeable most days, even stressed or pissed off at times, but sitting at my desk sorting through paperwork and ensuring the numbers are accurate is not a time or place I feel kinky.

I am still kinky though regardless whether I show it all the time or not because feeling kinky and actually being kinky are separate things. What I like falls into the realm of kink. I didn’t always know I was kinky. Doesn’t every growing girl touch themselves and insert things into their vagina? Probably. Their ass? Likely not. Clamp clothespins or clips to their tits and girly bits? Very likely not. I thought my feelings and predilections were normal until I got a little older and my friends started talking about sex and their experiences. I’d just stay quiet or nod my head in agreement when one friend said that she would never ever do anal with a guy because it was disgusting or that she found a cock shaped dildo in her mom’s bedside table and thought that was just gross. Hmm… that would feel better than my finger I thought.

I never shared though. After realizing how “non-vanilla” I am I kept those things to myself until a few years back when a friend introduced me to FetLife. That’s when things changed. I realized that even though I may not be like every other girl in my circle there were still a lot out there like me. It took many years for me to become comfortable in my kinky skin and not only start living it more regularly but start writing about it here on this blog as well. I write about it for a few reasons. I write so that others can see they aren’t alone. I write because it helps me work through things. I also write because I’m a wee bit of an exhibitionist. Yes, one of my kinks.

When I think of sex and sexual interactions, I don’t visualize sweet romantic love. I also don’t often think of traditional PIV. I’m not opposed to either of those, I actually enjoy them. I don’t enjoy them all the time though, just as I don’t enjoy all the bells and whistles of kinky fuckery all the time. And even though I am kinky and enjoy many aspects of kink there are still many which I don’t. It’s not a like one like it all kind of thing. That’s something that non kinky people often don’t understand. They feel that if they try one thing, or admit they enjoy one thing, that they will go full on complete kink. It doesn’t work that way. Kink is like going to a buffet. There is a lot to choose from, some of it will even look similar, but you don’t have to try it all. You can stick to your wings and roast potatoes if that is all you want. I usually try one new thing every time I go though. I may not finish it or ever have it again, but only by trying something will I know whether I like it or not.

One thing I notice is that what I consider kinky now has changed from what I thought was kinky back when I was 19 or 20. Sex with the lights on was a big issue for me back then. “Ooh, that’s kinky.” These days I’m comfortable in a crowded club surrounded by people having sex or watching me have sex. Lights on sex has lost it’s kink. There are things though, like anal sex, that I find perfectly normal activity which will always be considered a bit taboo and kinky.

Again, am I kinky? Yes. Do I feel kinky? Yes, I do today.

 

Twitter: @stellakiink
Facebook: Stella Kiink

 

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One thought on “AtoZ 2016: Kinky

  1. I’m totally with you on this one. I don’t feel kinky all the time either, and my view on what is kinky and what not has definitely changed as I got older.

    Nice post!

    Rebel xox

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