AtoZ 2016: Judgemental

Jaded, jealous, jinxed, jittery, jocular, jolly, jovial,
joyful, joyous, jubilant, JUDGEMENTAL, jumpy,

 

I was going to write a post about jealousy but realized I’ve already done that so won’t be doing another. Jealous Much? is the post of you are interested in reading.

Joy, jealousy, and variations of the two were mostly what showed up in my searches for feeling words that begin with the letter j. After a few I found the word juicy listed. That was tempting. I was certain using the word juicy would lead to talking about how juicy I feel physically rather than emotionally though. Scrap that, at least for today. It is a word that will stick with me for a while though and may turn up here somewhere along the way.

Judgemental. We are all judgemental to some degree. I’d like to say I am absolutely not judgemental but there are no absolutes in this world. I certainly don’t feel that I am judgemental but I have been and I will be again. It’s human nature, but just like I don’t feel jealous of others I also do my best not to judge them either. I don’t know everyone’s struggles or demons. I don’t now where their moral compass points in comparison to my own. It may be right in line with mine or it may point off in the complete opposite direction. I’d like to learn why it points that way rather than criticize and judge you because it does. I don’t tend to meet too many people whose views and morality differ so greatly from my own though. Like attracts like and all that.

As long as you are happy doing whatever it is you do without causing harm to others I will be happy for you. I won’t judge. I may have opinions, I may disagree, but I won’t judge you for living your life and finding happiness in a manner that differs from me. That is rare it seems, to not cast judgement simply because we can. I enjoy living without that feeling of superiority that comes with the judgement of others. I’m still not sure if that feeling of superiority is the cause or the end result though.

There are down sides to being non-judgemental especially when it comes to sex and sexuality. I find that men (I’m sure there are women who do this as well but since I am a heterosexual woman I will talk about men) think that not judging means condoning and willing. When they tell me about some of their experiences or fantasies they’ve had and I don’t immediately respond negatively they assume it’s okay to push them onto me. It isn’t. They think that I am up for anything. I’m not. I have limits and preferences. Thinking something is okay and wanting to experience it yourself are two separate things.

I’ve met many men who see this blog or some of my pictures and expect that I will fulfill their every desire and fantasy. Even through FetLife, where I have clearly stated my kinks and limits, men somehow miss them because they are only focused on one thing. They see pictures of my pretty painted toes and tell me how they want me to make them my slave and trample them with those toes. Or they see the pics of me being flogged and beaten and take that as a sign I will do those things to them. I won’t. I will not magically change from my submissive self into a dominant because that’s what you want me to be. I will not fulfill your every wish and fantasy. There are things I will and will not do. Not judging, just go find it somewhere else.

If you are someone who preys on the innocent or the weak, if you are a murderer, I will judge you. If you are a criminal of any sort I will likely judge you. I may believe you were just a victim of circumstance. I may even feel sorry for you. However, life is all about choices and we are ultimately the only person responsible for the choices we make. Very little happens to us by sheer accident.

If you are someone who continually blames other people for the problems in your life, again, I will judge you. As I just said, we are the only person responsible for our choices. How we react to things is one of those choices. Your mother didn’t marry your father. So what? Life doesn’t owe you anything for that. You had cancer a million years ago and beat it. Good for you for making it but life doesn’t owe you because you had cancer once. You married someone you didn’t love because you thought he would make the better father. That was your choice and you don’t get to blame your unhappiness on him for the rest of your life. Your sister gets a new car and you blame her for not being able to buy a new car of your own. Not her fault you spent your money on other things. Your mother won’t send you money to pay your hydro bill. Not her fault you spent all your money on drugs and booze before paying any of the bills. Now your grandchild has cancer. That is truly terrible, beyond heartbreaking. However, nobody owes you a damn thing because of that. That is his struggle, his parent’s struggle, not yours. Your job is to be there and support them in any way you can, you don’t get to cry poor me. Maybe you are just jealous, but am I judging you? Absolutely I am.

 

Twitter: @stellakiink
Facebook: Stella Kiink

 

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4 thoughts on “AtoZ 2016: Judgemental

  1. Absolutely YES to this: “As long as you are happy doing whatever it is you do without causing harm to others I will be happy for you. I won’t judge. I may have opinions, I may disagree, but I won’t judge you for living your life and finding happiness in a manner that differs from me.”

    And this too: “If you are someone who continually blames other people for the problems in your life, again, I will judge you.”

    Rebel xox

  2. J here, of the #atozchallenge Arlee Bird’s A to Z Ambassador Team.
    How has the challenge been going for you so far? Are you meeting your goals of posting and hopping to other blogs? M marked the halfway point!
    My blog’s giveaway is still going! I’m encouraging everyone to visit more stops. There’s a post about how to better use the image alt code — featured on the main A to Z blog as well as my own.
    http://jlennidornerblog.what-are-they.com
    *It looks like your haven’t posted since this. Is everything all right? Are you dropping out?*

    It is hard to be non-judgemental. I’m with you on being tolerant of anyone’s sexual choices, so long as it is with consenting adults. (My big thing- any involved must be able to give consent. Of age, of mind, of being capable of it, etc.)
    Why people want to change who you are, I don’t know. I get it too.
    “Are you sure you want to bang that gender?”
    Yes. I’m sure. *checks pants* Yup. I think I’d know.
    Ha ha ha.

    • I’m trying to catch up. Just been a busy and stressful time at work. Also, I’ve not written anything in ages and the #atozchallenge is my way of getting back on that horse, so to speak. 🙂

  3. ps- don’t forget to put the A to Z badge on your sidebar!

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