There were many ways I could have gone with this first post for the A to Z Challenge. My first thought was anal, though I decided it was much too obvious a choice for me. Similarly, ass and areola also were no goes. You’ve all seen a fair amount of both my ass and my areolae. Even my ankles have made a few appearances. My anatomy is off limits for this post, but bits of it will make an appearance or two this month.
Then I thought about the dynamic of kink and BDSM relationships and the words came flooding in… authority, anticipation, aggressor, after care, age play, ache, asphyxiation, adjust, adapt, accommodating, accepting, addictive, allure, arousal, actions, accountability, anything goes… The list goes on and on. There are many we wouldn’t necessarily say are kink or BDSM related but somehow they fit. Take a look through my short list again and think about how each fits into your relationship dynamic.
What I settled on here was anticipation. Anticipation is the start, the very beginning, yet it continues throughout the life of our relationships. At first we anticipate what that first kiss, first touch, first taste, first scene, first orgasm is going to be like. Will there be fireworks? Will time stand still? Will I want more? Where will it go? Will he kiss like a sloppy dog? Okay, so maybe not that last one but you know what I mean. There is an excitement at the start of a new relationship that is hard to describe.
As we get to know each other better and we play more, we begin to anticipate what our partner will do, how they will react to what we do to them. When we play we know how the flogger will move, or where the whip will land. We can see when the wax is about to fall. Often times we know exactly how we will react, although our bodies have been known to betray us on occasion. After the first strike, or first hot drop, we anticipate the next. Sometimes we beg for more, other times we beg for it to stop.
Over time we get to know our partner’s preferences and moods, and in doing so we can anticipate what their needs will be then meet them without being asked or told. That is where we want to get to, at least I do.