What Shall I Write?

I know, it’s been forever since I sat and wrote something here. It’s not that I’ve not wanted to, it’s just that I didn’t have anything to say. Life’s been happening, as usual. Mr S has been travelling quite a bit so not too much there, but the times when he has been home, when we’ve been together, I’ve wanted to keep to myself. Again, I know. Not very nice of a sex blogger not to blog about the sex she’s been having.

Truth is, I’ve been stuck in my head. When that happens I can’t get the words, the thoughts, out in a way that makes sense. I think about moments, about experiences, about more that I want to have and about older ones that I may not have again. I feel wistful and long for something I’m not sure will happen. I think about work and life in general, about my son and school and having to teach him to speak the words he isn’t able to speak. I think about how alone I am here in my little world with him and how I wish for more for us, for him particularly.

This past week has been a roller coaster. Having heard not so great news about my son at the beginning of the week and what that may mean for us for the next few (many?) years, we didn’t start on a good note. Later in the week Mr S and I, along with friends, took in a party at a local swingers club. That was a very enjoyable experience, and one that I am hoping we will do again, often. Maybe I will be able to put that experience into words for you soon. Yesterday I ended the week with a lovely dinner at a girlfriends’ home and my son met a “best friend” who he is looking forward to seeing again soon.

So there have been some fun times in the middle of the responsible parenting moments. (You can click here for a peek at one of those moments.) Thank goodness. Maybe that is why my brain is still muddled with all my thoughts. I’m beginning to find a balance between sexy Stella time and responsible Mommy time. I’ve not really had that balance before and I don’t know how to process it. Also, what if I talk about all the good stuff in it and it all goes away? I don’t want it to go away.

One thought on “What Shall I Write?

  1. Sometimes you just have to not think about writing and let it come back to you all by itself. It will… eventually. In the meantime, enjoy the relax time.
    Hope everything will be okay with your son!

    Rebel xox

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