I’m going to have sex tonight. I hope. If I can get out of my own way and get over these nerves. Why am I so anxious? It’s been a minute sure, but it’s not like he is someone new. He’s been my partner for the past four years. We are good and comfortable and fun. So much fun. I wasn’t even this nervous the first time we got together, so why now?
Things have changed since we were last together. The pandemic has gotten worse, especially in our area, and since we do not live together that means we’ve not seen each other for 6 months. This week the number of positive cases has increased again. The lockdown we’ve been in since January was lifted to a degree just this week, but rising numbers suggest we may be going right back into lockdown again.
The biggest change, and what is really giving me the nerves, is that I had Covid and am still dealing with many issues as a result of that. One of those issues being that I can’t taste or smell a lot of things. Body odours is one of the thing I still can’t smell. Generally I don’t mind not smelling them but he smells good. His body smells so good to me. That freshly showered smell, and the scent of his shampoo on his still damp hair, that hasn’t quite washed away the sweat of having worked a laborious job all day. The minty breath he has when he tries to cover up having just smoked a cigarette. The sexy musky scent that fills my nostrils when I am between his legs with his cock in my mouth. They all blend together into something that is distinctly him.
Another issue I am still dealing with is my breathing. There are a few different things involved here but it all comes down to me not being able to breathe properly. I become short of breath very easily and my asthma can be triggered by simply walking across the room or getting up from bed. Nothing sexy about that. Something else that is not sexy? Being a fucking mouth breather. How are we supposed to share deep passionate kisses if I am breathing through my mouth? And what about sucking his cock? I am getting anxious just thinking about it now.