DD – 19 Years

Dear Diary,

It’s odd how things can sneak up on you at times. Things you haven’t thought about in years that suddenly break you all over again. Yesterday was an anniversary of sorts. 19 years ago yesterday the Rock Man proposed to me for a second time. The time I said yes. It is also the date we were to marry the following year. 19 years. Damn. I rarely ever think about him these days. When I do it’s disconnected, as if it was all a dream or from a whole different lifetime. Nearly 20 years has a way of doing that I suppose. Yesterday the date kept jumping out at me and I felt overwhelmed by sadness, though was not aware the two were related. It wasn’t until near the end of the day that I realized what the date was, the importance of it. It isn’t an important date now, and obviously hasn’t been for some time, yet that doesn’t mean it can’t affect me still. I have no idea why it came up and caused those feelings of sadness after all this time though as it has never done so before, not even those first few years. It does make me wonder.

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