Trust. I’ve written about it before. I could write about it once a month and still have something new to say each month. At first glance it appears simple but if you stop and spend time considering the depth of it, the impact it has on every aspect of our lives, it can seem quite complicated. It really is simple though.
Trust is the act of believing in the reliability of someone.
I trust you. Simple. But what do I trust? I trust that you will not intentionally harm me. I trust you with all my secrets. I trust you to bind me, to use me, and to stop when I’ve reached my limit. I have my safe word though I trust I won’t need it and regardless of how well you know my body and its reactions, you trust that I will. I would trust you with my passwords, my money, and the keys to everything I own .
Do I trust you with my heart? No. I want to. I need to in order for us to move forward to more, but I don’t.
I am all for giving people chances, for allowing them to make a mistake without holding it against them for the rest of their lives. Everyone makes mistakes and choices they wish they hadn’t. That’s just part of the human experience. We aren’t perfect people. The key to it though is learning from those experiences, learning not to make the same mistakes and learning to make better choices for ourselves and the people we care about.
I care about you. I love you. I just don’t trust that you won’t take that love and throw it away again.