AtoZ 2016: Leery

 Labile, laid back, lackluster, lascivious, lazy, lecherous, left-out,
leisurely, LEERY, lethargic, licentious, light-hearted, likable, listless,
lively, livid, logical, lonely, longing, loopy, lost, lousy, lovable,
loving, low, loyal, lucky


I was going to hate on the word lascivious today but couldn’t find the statistics to back up what I thought was way too much usage of the word in the 50 Shades of Gray books. It is what stuck with me the most about that series. Maybe a good thing considering the plethora of controversy they have caused. A quick Google search found that lascivious actually only appeared in the books eleven times. That’s it, eleven times. I would have sworn it had been used much more than that. It sure as hell felt like it.

So, if not lascivious then what? How about leery?

As open and trusting as I am, I am also very leery of men who contact me online. It’s smart to be leery of strangers promising you the world, telling you how they are the best lover, asking if they can come over and show you a good time, expecting things of you before you even agree to meet them. That’s what it’s like, and I’m not referring to online dating sites. It comes from all form of social media, including Twitter, FaceBook, and FetLife. Even those fun little games that you play with people around the world. The only game I play like that is Words with Friends, but there are tons of them. My FaceBook feed used to be covered with such posts and my mailbox bombarded with requests until I blocked them all. I’m not interested.

To be leery means to be cautious or wary due to realistic suspicions. I am realistic in thinking that not all of these men are 100% on the up and up. There are far too many cases of women trusting men they’ve never met and ending up dead somewhere because they didn’t pay attention to the warning signs and didn’t proceed safely. I always follow a few simple rules:

  1. Never meet at their place or your place the first time you meet them. Make it a public place that you know very well and feel safe at.
  2. Always tell someone where you are going and who you are meeting. Give them all the contact information you have.
  3. If you can, have a friend on stand by at the meeting place.
  4. Set up check in times with a friend, either by having them call you or you call them.
  5. If your gut says no, listen.
  6. You don’t owe them anything.


Twitter: @stellakiink
Facebook: Stella Kiink



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