Today was a tough one. You’d think it would be easier than this considering how the past few months have been. But no, it isn’t easy at all. Do you know how many times I’ve picked up my phone to send him a message, ask how is day is going? Too many. When will he cease to be the first person I think of in the morning and the last before I close my eyes at night?
It’s hard to believe that someone so important, who’s been a major part of my life for so long, will one day be little more than a memory. That is in part why I had to say goodbye. I didn’t want to end up hating him or resenting him and I could see that’s where it was going. It can do little else when he was pulling away but refusing to let go.
You can’t have it both ways. You can’t expect your partner to find other partners when you refuse to allow them the opportunities to do so. You can’t expect immediate responses when you ignore them for days.
This is just my side of course, my interpretation of his actions. Things could be very different from his point of view. Who knows.