I Can Give You Flowers

Check out this post if you would like to have a little background context to this one.

He was quiet the next two days before trying to initiate another conversation. I didn’t respond.

The third day he apologized again.


I have not responded. That didn’t stop him from sending me a message on FetLife to tell me he received some new toys he had ordered and wanted to use them on me.


I’ve only met this guy twice. The first was at a munch and the second at a coffee shop for a drink. Both times he barely said a word which left the conversations more than lacking. I don’t even know why I agreed to meet him after the munch in the first place. It wasn’t because I was interested in dating him. I was skeptical about him from the start, which I told him several times. I need to learn to listen to that skeptical voice and quit giving the wrong people chances they don’t deserve.

I should have known he was off his rocker when I didn’t respond fast enough to a message on FetLife one day and he got perturbed. I said, “You do realize I’m working right now?” His response was, “I don’t realize but I can take an educated guess you are working. After you tell me you are working then it is a realization.” Childish response or what? I don’t know when people expect me to be working my 9-5 office job if not between the hours of 9 and 5. Seriously!

There have been a few times when he has gone off on me because I was too busy to respond to him or meet him. He’s said it’s “logically bullshit” that I am too busy. I got a “you listen to me” as well. Excuse me, what now?

What started the exchange above was him asking me if I was currently sexually involved with someone. I said yes, I have a friend. Well, that lead to him saying how terrible I was, how all those times I was busy I was actually going out with my “fuck buddy or laying on (my) back,” and how do I think someone who wants to date me is going to stick around to get dicked around while I do that. Then he started in on how I’m playing him and he won’t allow himself to be punked or insulted like that. He even tried to tell me what a “lying POS” I am because he’s come to some conclusion that I had a fuck buddy when I was seeing MySir. He doesn’t know any of the details about that relationship and had he asked he would have found out.

I’m not going to defend myself here because anyone who reads my blog or follows me on Twitter will already know the truth, enough of it at least to know that the person he was describing isn’t me. Besides that, he had stated about ten minutes into my first meeting him that he reads my blog and thought it was great. Don’t tell me you do something if you don’t, and don’t pretend to know me when clearly you don’t know anything about me or what I’ve been through these past few years.

There’s a bunch more but it all seems so stupid and childish. He pretty much screams immature, unbalanced abuser to me. Verbally attacking me, trying to manipulate me, then minimalizing it all by offering to bring me flowers. An apology and “are we cool” is going to make it all better and I’m just supposed to forgive and forget? I don’t think so. It’s like the woman who gets hit because her husband had a bad day at the office then he buys her flowers and expects her to forget all about the black eye and bruise on her cheek. Not this girl. That is abuse, classic abuse, and I won’t accept it.

I may be in my 40’s and currently single, but I would much rather be alone than with a pathetic, delusional little man who thinks verbally attacking a woman, putting her down and blaming her, is the way to get her. There are plenty of real men, kind and considerate men, out there. One will come my way. And if one doesn’t I still have the best man in the world, my son.

BTW, my favorite color is red.


Note: This person has been deleted and blocked on my social media sites. He has also been blocked on my cell phone so none of his calls or texts get through. It’s amazing how easy it is for people to find you online.



8 thoughts on “I Can Give You Flowers

  1. Indeed, he sounds like the classical abuser to me and it’s better to just cut him out of your life, like you’re doing. Don’t you have an option on your phone to just block him? On my phone (Android) when I go to the contact details, I can add a person to the ‘refuse list’ and as far as I know you then don’t receive any calls or texts from the person anymore.

    Hope this helps!

    Rebel xox

    • I never thought to check for such an option. I’m used tl the old days when I had to call the phone company and pay to block a number. I have that option on my iPhone and he is now blocked.

  2. I know Verizon Wireless offers a “Block” on phone numbers via their website. This is a MAJOR plus for me!
    I do hate when someone, especially a man who supposedly wants in my pants can’t keep a conversation going. it’s a pet peeve. Don’t make me work for the conversation fucker, cause you’ll lose. UGH! I wanna toss quarters at him and say something like “Dance for me, entertain me, do something, if you’re not gonna talk, fool!”
    I deactivated my FL acct. Blah – needed a break from the nutters.
    And Red is a beautiful bold color!
    Great post BTW 😉

    • I’d deactivate my account but I host our local munch.

  3. Ugh some fucking people, especially hookup site people can be such high maintenance clueless douche bags I swear

  4. Red is my fav colour too . . . but I can understand you “seeing RED” from this man’s actions. Yes I’m sure you can block numbers you choose to on your phone. But I’m sure it must be frustrating and worrying when someone can’t accept “no thank you”. I wish you well . . .
    Xxx – K

  5. You know, I’d have been tempted to tell him to go fuck himself with a rusty blade……what a cock end! And yes, he has manipulative abuser written all over each communication.
    What a tosser…….

    As for number blocking, I would have to ring my mobile provider and ask specifically for a number to be blocked, so maybe that’s an option?


  6. Yes, for him to take that attitude with you, especially so early in the relationship, is such a warning signal. Wish you all the best in getting rid of him.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *