Drinking Games at The Puntarena

“Drinks for everyone!”

The exclamation would be heard many times this evening. It didn’t matter that the drinks were free, it was an all inclusive resort after all. Vacationers were letting loose and partying like they were nineteen again. No kids or jobs to get up to in the morning, no responsibilities for a whole week, and that week started now.

“Scusi señor, cervezas por favor,” as the young man waves his finger along the bar indicating himself and several of his friends. “Bueno. Bueno. Sí. Merci.”

It made no sense but the bartenders didn’t seem to mind. Of course they didn’t, they have to put on a smile and cater to the guests. It didn’t matter how badly they massacred the language, or that they mixed up several in their attempts to speak the local language, or even how rude they were jumping in front of others because they deemed themselves more important than the couple who had been standing there waiting before them. The men and women behind the bar continued on with a smile and a laugh and entertained everyone.

not Steven Segal
not Steven Segal, photo courtesy of TripAdvisor

Tonight’s main bartender is Steven Segal. An alias since Artruro, or Pablo or Esteban, was apparently too hard to say or remember. “I’m famous,” he says. “Everybody knows Steven Segal.” Yes, most do. It would be nice if everybody knew Artruro though, or Pablo or Esteban. I know I would rather know him. Maybe I wouldn’t like the real person he is but I’d rather know the real person than the fake one they show me. I doubt he’d be a terrible person though. He is so fun and charming it’s hard to believe that isn’t his true personality. Although people lie about themselves all the time and get paid very well for it. It’s called acting. Steven Segal once made a living of it.”Dos piña coladas por favor.”

Only on vacation will you see men strolling up to the bar asking for a daiquiri or piña colada or tropical. They are all free and have a sufficient quantity of rum for it not to matter how girly it would seem back at home. The big Czech with the super tan in the muscle shirt keeps getting his little glasses of piña coladas two at a time. Interesting, they put a dash of cinnamon on top here. I’ll have to try that when I have make them at home next. I love cinnamon.

I also love pineapple. That would be why my drink of the evening is rum and pineapple. That and because that’s the first drink they gave me and I kept with it. They lure you in with the fresh pineapple juice then before you know it you’re more than half a dozen drinks in and the ratio of rum to pineapple has swung in the complete opposite direction. I can barely even make out that there is pineapple in the drink. Sometimes they give me what’s called a tropical. It’s still basically rum and pineapple but they add a splash of grenadine to pretty it up. I’m not into the sweet so much so they can keep the grenadine.

The Puntarena, photo courtesy of TripAdvisor

Speaking of grenadine, they use it in another drink, aptly named the Puntarena after the hotel itself. I never had one as the thought of it was just too sweet for my taste. It starts with a mixture of pineapple and white rum, followed by a splash of grenadine which settles at the bottom, then comes a mix of curaco and coconut rum poured slowly over a spoon so it stays atop the rest. It does look pretty with its distinct layers of red, white and blue. Ironically the colors for both the Cuban and American flag.

After a drunken call to Him, MySir, I’ve had enough of the bar this evening. Tomorrow I’ll be back for something different. Maybe my regular. There is a bottle of Chivas Regal behind the bar.

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