It’s midnight here and I am sitting up, tired but unable to sleep. Laying down is not conducive to breathing at the moment, and breathing is quite important if I don’t want to die. Yeah, I don’t want to die.

What I do want though is to play. Not fun little board games or cars and choo choo trains, but naked games. I want to be pushed, to be taken and used, to taste a cock and be fucked into oblivion.

Reminds me of an episode of Friends. The one where Monica is sick with a cold and fever, all snotty and slathered in Vicks or some such thing. She is coughing and sneezing and dripping. Eww! Not that I ever found her character particularly appealing but exceptionally so in this episode. Thing was though, that even though she was sick and pretty disgusting at the time, she felt sexy, or horny as the case may be, and was trying her damnedest to turn Chandler on and have sex.

Not that I feel that disgusting, although I am sick and breathing is a real concern at the moment, but I just want to have sex. I don’t want it all soft and gentle like either. I want my hair pulled and my holes ravaged, I want you to tell me how much I turn you on and what a good girl I am.

I want to feel hot wax across my chest. I want to feel the leather bear down across my backside. The pain from the clamps. The binds around my ankles and wrists. Your hand against my throat. I don’t want too use a safe word or to to even think.

When it comes down to it what I want is to feel, to feel alive.

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