TMI #9: If, Ands, and Butts

If, Ands, and Butts

1. If you had a magic beauty wand, what would you give yourself?

a. Shinier hair, hands down
b. Glowing, soft skin–pass the moisturizer dude
c. Brighter eyes, with no crows feet—I want to look less tired
d. Nada. I love what I’ve got
e. Other – I would give myself a flatter stomach. I’ve always been shapely but since having my son I have this pooch that I really don’t like and have not been able to get rid of. I would also give myself more shapely legs and get rid of the “tree trunk” legs that genetics has cruelly given me. I sure sound like a beauty now don’t I?

2. If you were spring cleaning your life what five things would you throw out?
Hmm, this requires some thought… I don’t believe I would throw out anything. At first thought I was thinking of getting rid of a couple exes but I’ve already done that, that’s why they are called exes. Then I thought about throwing out my job, but I need a job to pay the bills and live life. Could I throw away the bills? That would be a good one. My heart condition? Yep, I’d throw that out too. There are a few things I would like to add to my life, but that’s about it for the throwing out of things.

3. If money were no object, what kind of house would you buy?
I would buy a log cabin style home with a wrap around porch. There would be a big dinner bell by the front door. The home would look rustic but have all the amenities one could ask for. A large kitchen with plenty of room for cooking and baking and preserving would be required. An en suite bathroom for every bedroom, not that I want a dozen rooms or anything, but it is a nice comfort. It would be nestled between the ocean and the hills so I could have the ocean waves lull me to sleep each evening and wake to the smell of clean mountain air each morning. That would be divine. Of the places I’ve been I would choose Newfoundland or Scotland.

4. Have you ever visited an erotic massage parlor AND had a “happy ending”?
No, never. However, I do have a massage table in my spare room if you’d like to come over for one. 😉

Bonus: Using the handy chart, what is your butt type, spanked or not?
I think I would be the Wide Load Hot Tamale. Can I have that combo, even though it’s not on the menu? I’ll wait while you go ask your manager. You don’t mind if I sing and shake it while I wait do you?

“Shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt… I like ’em round and big… I wan’t ’em real thick and juicy… So ladies if the butt is round and you wanna triple X throw down dial 1-900-MIXALOT and kick them nasty thoughts. Baby got back.”

Spankification: Types of Spanked Butts by Dioneo Daspanca, 2011

Spankification: Author of original types of butts poster unknown. Types of Spanked Butts by Dioneo Daspanca, 2011

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Happy TMI Tuesday!

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2 thoughts on “TMI #9: If, Ands, and Butts

  1. Alas, I have no ass.. mine ran away somewhere mid second pregnancy. Now boobs however, I have an overabundance of those..

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