Kinky Dominant Submissive

I am a kinky dominant submissive exhibitionist who enjoys bondage and voyeurism, not vanilla. That quiz cleared everything up!

Why do we do these silly things anyway? Want to know if you and your partner are compatible? Take this quiz. Want to know what you should do when you grow up? Take that quiz. Want to know if you are into BDSM or not? Take this other quiz.

Seriously, you don’t need a quiz to tell you any of those things. If you are taking a quiz to see if you are compatible with your partner, you are obviously not compatible, or you aren’t into it, either way. If you are leaving it up to a quiz to decide what to do when you grow up, you are not taking any kind of responsibility for your choices and will not be happy if you are just choosing what some silly quiz tells you to choose. As for BDSM, you know. If you don’t know, then you aren’t.

The way I see it, there are two kinds of people in this world. Those who eat the same meals every Monday and Thursday, and those who try all kinds of things to see what it is they like. Those who are vanilla and those who aren’t. I subscribe to the try everything philosophy. I wouldn’t know that I liked star fruit, or didn’t like eggplant, unless I tried it. BDSM is a little trickier than that though. There are so many different kinds of kink and levels of submission or domination, and lets not even get into soft and hard limits. Every aspect has so many variables that it may not be as easy as try it once and know.

Take bondage for example. I tried it with one partner and hated it. He used ropes and a gag, and he was more concerned about his own pleasure and needs than if I was doing ok. That experience, like the relationship, didn’t end well. Years later, because it took me that long to try it again, I was with a partner who used cuffs and leather restraints and blindfolded me. I wouldn’t let him use a gag. This is still one of my favorite experiences. He talked to me, reassured me all the way through, and when we finished he held me and gave me the care I needed.

Those two experiences were completely different, but it wasn’t just the partners that made them different. It was me, my experiences leading up to them, my comfort level with my partners, my confidence, and learning that just because I was the one restrained didn’t mean that I had to take whatever my partner decided to dole out. I learned that I have power too.

When restrained my power is in letting go, in being free to relax and let my partner take control. Yes, I said relax. When the restraints go on and I know I am his captive, I relax. My breathing slows, my mind stops racing, and I submit to it completely. Add a blindfold and I am absolutely done for. Power isn’t always about what you can hold over others. Sometimes it is about what you can let go of.

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9 thoughts on “Kinky Dominant Submissive

  1. It’s all about trust :

    ~Kazi xxx

    • It is! And sadly that’s the part too many try to skip by.

  2. Very well put… I too wrote about submission and relaxation in a rather hotch potch mess. I often find the cuffs going on fires me up, makes my blood pump etc but once he does with me…oh boy then I am relaxed!

    • I wrote this not planning on it being a WW post, but then the way I ended it seemed to fit this week. Funny how that happens at times.

  3. I am also very relaxed when I am being restrained. My stress lifts, my stomach unbinds, it is one of the few things that make me completly relaxed. But, if I was with someone I couldn’t trust or just thought of himself, I would be a mess. I do like the thought of try everything! I do try, even if scares me a bit!

  4. Mia

    So well written! I love how you have described the sensations that happen as the restraints go on and how it changes the physiological you as well as the psychological you.

    ~Mia~ xx

  5. Those partners who are only interested in their own ends … those partners, ultimately, suck (not in the good way). Because it’s not about the relationship or the fun you’re having together – it’s about what they’re getting out of it. I’m glad you’ve found something better!

    xx Dee

  6. Just once, eh? Nicely put. 😉

    Stranded

    • More than once, I believe, is what I said. 😉

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